I’m so nervous!! Back in August it seemed like February/March 2010 would take FOREVER to get here… but here we are! It’s mid-January and we could find out any time whether we’re given the go-ahead to adopt this year or not. I’m trying not to go down the “what if we don’t make the cut” road… and then there’s the whole “will we even have the money” road…
Believing that God will provide the money for us to adopt and actually waiting for it to play out is a beast. I’m so worried about so many different things and trying to convince my head to believe what my heart knows to be true… feel like I wrestle with this a lot.
I guess it’s the control freak in me that BEGS for some kind of proof that it will all work out. Because I handle our money and I KNOW, quite honestly, we ain’t got it!
It would just be nice to know that…
- We WILL be given one of the South Korean spots this year!
- We WON’T have any emergencies that will suck up our application fee that we’ve saved.
- Our application WILL be accepted by our agency.
- He WILL provide the $1,800 we’ll need for our home study.
- He WILL give us a GREAT social worker who won’t care that our carpet’s falling apart, our dogs like to put random holes in the walls of our laundry room and rip up the flooring, that our money situation never adds up on paper but that we have a GOD who always makes it okay, that we will be able to provide for a child despite it all, and that will “get” us and know that we desperately want this and feel it’s what God wants FOR us.
- He WILL give us the strength and clear mind that it’s going to take to complete the mounds of paperwork with accuracy and to their specifications.
- He WILL provide $5,150+ to pay our agency.
- South Korea WON’T have any problems with giving two “poor” people a child.
- That it WON’T take years to get a referral.
- That He WILL will provide $16,000+ to send South Korea once we accept a referral.
- That our local government WILL have grace on us and not require us to jump through even more hoops.
- That South Korea WILL complete all of the necessary paperwork and approve our baby’s VISA in a relatively short amount of time.
- He WILL provide $5,000+ we’ll need to travel to South Korea to pick up our baby.
- That our post adoption reports back here in the States will go well… we’ll find the additional $1,000 to cover the costs.
- That our marriage will remain GREAT and strong enough to handle all of the stress that’s going to come along with this adoption.
- That we will have strength and wisdom to deal with any problems that come from adopting a baby from a foreign country, taking them from the only life they’ve ever known and forcing them to live with two white people!
There’s just so many things weighing on my shoulders right now. Sometimes it can get a little overwhelming to think about all of the obstacles we are facing and quite honestly I need your prayers!
“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory…” Eph. 3:20
